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[Hello everyone! This journal entry was supposed to go up over 2 weeks ago but alas here we are 😩\ \ Today is my birthday (yes, i am a very libra baby 😌) and I’m sitting at the crowded cafe on my day off typing frantically away so I can this entry out to you!\ \ First off, welcome to another month, another it’s-almost-the-end-of-the-year-so-i’m-freaking-out moment of the year. Today I am twenty seven years old and in some ways I feel so completely old and in other ways I feel utterly too young to be allowed to take care of myself. Thankfully, one thing that always does a good job of distracting me from staring down the doom of being one more year closer to death is that my birthday is on the beautiful cusp between summer and fall and all I want to is curl up in coziness and get ready for all the spookiness to come this season.\ \ \ \ What’s going on with me:\ \ It’s been a busy few weeks for me recently and in-between lots of personal events, the horrible state of the world, and being ill for a bit I honestly can’t believe how quickly the time has flown.\ \ Over the last few weeks I:\ \

Finally unpacked the final things in my new apartment\
Hosted a chill housewarming party with friends\
Went to the eye doctor after years to find out that my eyesight has regressed badly since my laser eye surgery in 2021. I now need glasses again for seeing things far away (TV, monitor, boards/screens at work, etc), though it’s still not as bad as my pre-LASIK eyesight and my new glasses are cute enough.\
Thrifted a BEAUTIFUL vintage Moroccan rug and some wonderful art for my library room\
Attended a friend’s baby shower and then proceeded to read up on postpartum psychosis and came to the realization of how difficult it would actually be for me to ever handle a pregnancy with my mental illness\
Was in charge of a full day photo & videography shoot for work\
Listed and sold ALL FOUR of my bookshelves on Facebook Marketplace 🤭\
HOSTED a baby shower for a family member\ \ \ \ \ \
Planned and ran a bachelorette weekend cottage getaway for one of my childhood friends—we went to a few wineries and played board games at the cottage and overall had a wholesome time haha\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
Planned and HOSTED the bridal shower for the same friend the next weekend (it was Cinderella themed and absolutely adorable if I do say so myself)\
Got a couple old cavities recleaned and refilled at the dentist 😭\
Got my 100k subscribers YouTube Play button plaque in the mail!\ \ \ \ \ \
Had some serious personally stressful things come up which triggered a flare up in my chronic digestive issues which basically left me stuck at home, in pain, and unable to eat properly for a couple weeks.\
In the downtime I did make some headway on planning the redecoration of my office/library room but was definitely still deeply stressed out by Israel’s recent heinous attacks on Lebanon and have been listening to and checking the news incessantly hoping to not wake up to more death and destruction each morning. My partner is Lebanese so these past weeks have been extremely hard on him and I’m just trying to find the best way to be present for him and support him through this horrible time.\ \ \ \ \ \
Over the past weekend, with the help of my boyfriend, I finally put up the new shelves, art, and decorations for my library room and I am in LOVE with how it turned out. [see the photos below for a sneak peek]\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
Thankfully I was also able to recover health-wise this past weekend and was able to go see Billie Eilish in concert in Toronto last night!\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ In the next few weeks I:\ \
Have my birthday party to plan for next week! [it’s going to be Pride and Prejudice themed 😌]\
Have a halloween party to plan for the end of the month and will need to figure out my DIY costume\
Will be flying to New York in another ten days for the Bindery fall launch and will be staying with a friend to make a whole trip out of it!\ \ \ \ How I’m doing ~ mentally ~\ \ As you can tell it’s been a busy time for me [more so than usual lol] but I’m surprisingly holding up. I keep thinking back to this time last year and even years previous, and I have never been so proud of my own growth and how far I’ve come.\ \ Two years ago on my birthday I was wishing I wasn’t alive as I fell deep into my worst bipolar depressive episode to-date. Last year, I was in Paris on my own, traveling and seeing bookstores across the world and figuring out who I wanted to be for myself. This year, today, I woke up next to the love of my life, tried a Pilates class for the first time and struggled epicly with a big smile on my face, and I am now having a quiet afternoon at the cafe catching up on youtube work before a nice dinner out.\ \ I have never been so deeply happy with the small joys in life, and I have never been so grateful for the life I have and the breaths I take, which so many others around the world have been robbed of whether by mental illness or by horrible political powers that seek to wipe them out. If you’re struggling with mental illness, please know that you are in my thoughts ♥️ and if not, I hope you can keep the people of Palestine and Lebanon and Syria and Yemen in your thoughts and hearts and keep fighting against the zionist regime.\ \ \ \ What I’m working on this week:\ \
Finishing filming my library room redecoration/tour video and editing that to go up next week\
Filming a vlog reading Intermezzo — I’m sure you’ve seen all the hype for this book and although I’ve had a hit-or-miss experience with Sally Rooney’s books I am hoping that this one will be a new favourite!\ \ \ \ What I’m currently reading:\ \ Academy of Liars by Alexis Henderson — I am already OBSESSED with this book omg. I had an e-ARC of this but only had the chance to start it this past weekend. I really loved House of Hunger by this author which was a wonderful and sumptuous vampire book, but THIS BOOK wow. The writing style and voice in this one is a bit different and definitely more of that contemporary fantasy / thriller vibe and it’s just everything I love — a mentally ill character figuring themselves out and getting into deeper [potentially magical] trouble.\ \ What I’m watching:\ \ I recently finished watching part 1 of the new season of Emily in Paris and it was deliciously stupid and frivolous as usual so it was highly entertaining lol. I still need to find a day to watch part 2 but I’m excited for it.\ \ I’ve also been rewatching Gilmore Girls for the millionth time since fall is here and it’s just the perfect show for cozy season. I’m already on season 2 and am enjoying myself immensely. I do have to say that the first 3-4 seasons are probably my favourite because after that Rory kinda gets annoying lol.\ \ \ \ Alright, that’s all from me! Let me know how you’re all doing, what you’re reading, and what you’ve been up to these past few weeks! 🙂\ \ \ \ Upgrade for $5 or login](https://boundless.binderybooks.com/item/lYZbHujiEehIZoY7hDX7/)

10.02.24 - journal update #14 | it's my birthday! :) let me tell you about my september

It's been a chaotic and busy month and I'm so sorry for the lack of content during this time but rest assured a lot is coming soon!

3 books

Boundless Press\ \ Jananie\ \ • Jul 8 2024

QUEER BOOK RECS for all year round 🏳️‍🌈

15 books