Alex (Pucksandpaperbacks) | Hijab Butch Blues: A Memoir

Hijab Butch Blues: A Memoir

Lamya H

Save to Your Books

100% of affiliate revenue supports Alex (Pucksandpaperbacks)

A queer hijabi Muslim immigrant survives her coming-of-age by drawing strength and hope from stories in the Quran in this “raw and relatable memoir that challenges societal norms and expectations” (Linah Mohammad, NPR).

“A masterful, must-read contribution to conversations on power, justice, healing, and devotion from a singular voice I now trust with my whole heart.”—Glennon Doyle, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Untamed.

THEM’S HONOREE IN LITERATURE • AN AUDACIOUS BOOK CLUB PICK • WINNER: The Brooklyn Public Library Book Prize, the Stonewall Book Award, the Israel Fishman Nonfiction Award • Lambda Literary Award Finalist A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: NPR, Autostraddle, Book Riot, BookPage, Harper’s Bazaar, Electric Lit, She Reads.

When fourteen-year-old Lamya H realizes she has a crush on her teacher—her female teacher—she covers up her attraction, an attraction she can’t yet name, by playing up her roles as overachiever and class clown. Born in South Asia, she moved to the Middle East at a young age and has spent years feeling out of place, like her own desires and dreams don’t matter, and it’s easier to hide in plain sight. To disappear.

But one day in Quran class, she reads a passage about Maryam that changes everything: When Maryam learned that she was pregnant, she insisted no man had touched her. Could Maryam, uninterested in men, be . . . like Lamya?

From that moment on, Lamya makes sense of her struggles and triumphs by comparing her experiences with some of the most famous stories in the Quran. She juxtaposes her coming out with Musa liberating his people from the pharaoh; asks if Allah, who is neither male nor female, might instead be nonbinary; and, drawing on the faith and hope Nuh needed to construct his ark, begins to build a life of her own—ultimately finding that the answer to her lifelong quest for community and belonging lies in owning her identity as a queer, devout Muslim immigrant.

This searingly intimate memoir in essays, spanning Lamya’s childhood to her arrival in the United States for college through early-adult life in New York City, tells a universal story of courage, trust, and love, celebrating what it means to be a seeker and an architect of one’s own life.

Get the Bindery app

Posts about this title from Alex (Pucksandpaperbacks)

Alex (Pucksandpaperbacks)\ \ Alex (he/him/his)\ \ • Jun 28

50+ trans book recommendations 🏳️‍⚧️

Over 50 trans book recommendations for the Trans Rights Readathon and Trans Reading Challenge ranging from memoirs, nonfiction, romance, contemporary, YA and middle grade, and some SFF.

69 books

Posts about this book from across Bindery

Alex (Pucksandpaperbacks)\ \ Alex (he/him/his)\ \ • Jun 28

50+ trans book recommendations 🏳️‍⚧️

69 books

Not A Phase Books\ \ Sawyer Cole Hobson\ \ • Jun 14

Join for free

[Hi pals! Happy Sunday!\ \ I just wanted to pop in to remind you of our inaugural Beyond The Rainbow chat with Dr. Kaila Story Tuesday, June 16th, from 12-1pm CST/1-2pm EST. This will be a live event, and only for subscribers of Not A Phase Books, so please do not share this link with anyone. ALSO, if you have any questions you'd like me to ask Dr. Story, please ensure you drop a comment or join the Discord (free as you're a subscriber) to discuss more in depth the book, any topics you'd like me to hit, etc. You can also hit that Interest button on the event in the Discord to serve as a reminder to join the zoom, as well.\ \ \ \ The zoom link and information can be found here:\ \ Sawyer Cole (They/Them) is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.\ \ Topic: Beyond The Rainbow Chat with Dr. Kaila Story\ \ Time: Jun 16, 2026 12:00 PM Central Time (US and Canada)\ \ Join Zoom Meeting\ \ https://us06web.zoom.us/j/84720199405\\ \ Meeting chat link\ \ https://us06web.zoom.us/launch/jc/84720199405\\ \ Meeting ID: 847 2019 9405\ \

- *\ \ Join by SIP\ \ • 84720199405@zoomcrc.com\ \ Join instructions\ \ https://us06web.zoom.us/meetings/84720199405/invitations?signature=3nCQjAwo\_6sPGcZwArrGYUD1Z4GeKIAJ-88tuGMyCLY\\ \ I hope you come prepared to be absolutely blown away. This book, The Rainbow Ain't Never Been Enuf: On The Myth of LGBTQ+ Solidarity left me reeling in the best possible way - the book is jam-packed with much needed information, nuance, and important steps to take as white people part of the queer community and as white people that consider themselves an "ally". I truly hope you can make it Tuesday afternoon to tune in; if not, again, please feel free to drop your questions in the comments below or in the Discord channel for this chat.\ \ Upcoming events for Not A Phase Books:\ \ Friday, July 17th, 6-7 pm CST/7-8pm EST, Beyond The Rainbow with DeAndra Davis discussing her book The Lovers, The Liars, And Me (which releases June 23). I just started this book and let me tell you, the dedication and author's note ALREADY have me in my feels. I just know this book is going to destroy me in the best way.\ \ \ \ ALSO happening in July, is our Quarter 3 Behind The Book chat with our Q3 book club selection, which is Lamya H's Hijab Butch Blues. This chat with the author will take place Friday, July 31, 7-8pm CST/8-9pm EST. There will also be a UK edition of the paperback version of Hijab Butch Blues for quarter 3 (July, August, September.) We will take our time reading this book throughout the quarter, so if you have any questions you'd like to ask Lamya H next month, please head over to our discord to enter the chat.\ \ \ \ I also just wanted to say - thank YOU for being here. For engaging, for showing up, for being authentically yourselves. It's truly amazing to see and I'm so thankful you're part of my community. \ \ I hope you all have a restful day, and (hopefully) I will see your faces Tuesday at 12pm CST for the Beyond The Rainbow chat with Dr. Kaila Story.\ \ Drop your questions in the comments down below!\ \ With all my trans joy,\ \ Sawyer Cole\ \ Join for free or login](https://notaphase.binderybooks.com/item/iIMFcv73zQqM3lMfeZA2/)

Beyond The Rainbow Zoom Information for Tuesday June 16th with Dr. Kaila Story

3 books

Not A Phase Books\ \ Sawyer Cole Hobson\ \ • Jun 4

Join for free

[Happy Trans Joy Thursday!\ \ Today, I wanted to highlight 10 books that have not only brought me joy, but also made me feel seen, heard, validated and others that just... altered my brain in the best possible way. By no means are these like my all time favorites, but they come pretty damn close, and I find myself recommending them over and over again. I chose 5 nonfiction books, and 5 fiction books.\ \ Before we get to the lists, though, I wanted to remind you that if you're local to Green Bay, Wisconsin, I'll be vending my first ever big Pride event at Proud Out Loud at Stage Ten Seventeen from 12-8pm. I will be a vendor indoors. I'll have Pride exclusives and tons of merch to shop, in addition to my book, of course. Here are the details if you're curious:\ \ \ \ I hope I see you all there! One more house keeping thing, we have finalized our Quarter 3 Book Club Pick and our Behind The Book chat! We will be reading Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H(she/they), and will ALSO be talking with them July 31st from 7-8 pm CST/8-9pm EST. Quarter 3 will be July, August and September. So, we'll have 3 months to dive in and discuss this book along the way. I will also be holding a giveaway for the paperback UK edition. More details on that coming in July. \ \ But Sawyer, you told us last time we are speaking with DeAndra Davis in July for the Beyond The Rainbow chat!? YES! We're talking to BOTH OF THEM IN JULY. And I'm so pumped. More details coming later this week.\ \ NOW. For the books that changed my brain chemistry. Here are my Top 5 Nonfiction Reads:\ \ \ \ In no particular order, these are my Top 5 Nonfiction books:\ \

The Rainbow Ain't Never Been Enuf: On The Myth of LGBTQ+ Solidarity by Dr. Kaila Story. This book gave me so much material to digest, I not only listened to the audiobook, I bought a physical copy to immediately reread to annotate. (I don't typically reread books. Let alone in the same month.) Dr. Kaila Story will also be with us Tuesday, June 16th from 12-1pm CST/1-2 pm EST to discuss this book, Pride, and everything in between. Zoom information coming soon.\ \
Falling Back In Love With Being Human: Letters To Lost Souls by Kai Cheng Thom. This book was like reading a book of forgiveness to those that have wronged you. The book itself is broken up into different formats - poems, prayers, spells, letters, etc. Truly an eye opening book and one that has sat with me since it's release.\ \
Black Boy Out Of Time by Hari Ziyad. Y'all. I had an e-copy of this book, purchased the audiobook, and still have yet to purchase the physical copy. But the way Ziyad writes letters to his younger self throughout the book, healed something inside of me. Ziyad discusses growing up as a queer Black kid with a religious upbringing and how he navigated that. It's a masterpiece that should be required reading.\ \
Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. Seeing as how this book is our Q3 book club selection, it should come as no surprise that it also made my top 5 list. Growing up in an extremely (cultish) religious upbringing, I related to Lamya's stories about herself in relation to the Qur'an. Truly a must read if you can relate to navigating religion or religious trauma.\ \
Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe. This book gave my adult self the ability to put words to my gender and identity that I was searching for. Truly a book that needs to be read by youth and adults alike. (The annotated edition was also just released in May, and I need it.)\ \ \ Just typing out those 5 books, I thought of like 5 more I could've added. lol. Here are the Top 5 Fiction books that altered my brain:\ \ \ \ I absolutely stay in my nonfiction bag, so branching out to fiction is way too hard for me. But when I do read fiction, it's usually queer books. These top 5 fiction books left me feeling some type of way about the characters, the plot, the storyline - they just left parts of me feeling seen. Looking at this list, I believe all but one of them are considered YA - I so wish I had these books in my youth. What a difference it could've made. I'm so thankful the kids today have access to stories that reflect them. Here are my Top 5 Fiction Books, in no particular order:\ \
Love & Other Disasters by Anita Kelly. A book about a recent divorcee and a nonbinary individual? Sounds like Kelly wrote about me and Alisha. To the point Alisha called me London for a brief moment in time due to my shared awkwardness with the character. I will read Kelly's grocery lists. Their books just never miss. Ever.\ \
Can't Take That Away by Steven Salvatore. Fun fact: This was the first book I ever won in a giveaway on Bookstagram. This book is about a genderqueer teen who finds the courage to speak up for themselves and equality to their school administration. And honestly? Still applicable today. A must read for not only parents, but every single kid to know that their voice matters.\ \
I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver. This book hit a little close to home, as it is about a nonbinary teen who got kicked out of their home after coming out to their parents. It follows Ben as they navigate school. anxiety, crushes, and the complexities of being a queer teenager. Deaver is also another author that just never misses.\ \
Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender. Another fun fact: We named one of the cats Felix after this book. This book follows Felix, a Black, queer, trans teen who is attending an art program in NYC. The overall themes include self-discovery, loving yourself, and accepting the fact that you are deserving of love. Such a beautiful book. \ \
Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas. I have also read this book twice. (I'm sensing a correlation of books reread and my top 5. lol) I love the fact that this book explores coming out as trans and navigating it with family and belonging. Such a tender book. I cannot wait until Thomas releases the sequel, Espiritu, later this year.\ \ \ And there you have it. My top 10 nonfiction/fiction books. I still could have added more books to both lists the more I sit here and think about them. But now I'm curious, if you could ONLY (yes, only) pick 5 books in each category, which books would you choose? Meet me in our Discord to tell me, or drop them in a comment below.\ \ I hope you all have a fantastic Thursday and a very happy day 4 of Pride.\ \ With all my trans joy,\ \ Sawyer Cole\ \ Join for free or login](https://notaphase.binderybooks.com/item/BDFO0nPtONTDtLT4S47P/)

Trans Joy Thursday

11 books

Not A Phase Books\ \ Sawyer Cole Hobson\ \ • May 29

Join for free

Hi Friends! Happy Pride Month! What a beautiful way to start the week!\ \ I have so much to tell you for this month! So bear with me if this newsletter is a smidge long. We'll start with my Pride schedule. This is just events (and birthdays, interviews, and important dates to remember) but I figured you could use this newsletter/image as a reference point, rather than attaching fifty-eleven flyers for the events I'll be at. (Discord has an events channel, should you want to see said flyers, though.)\ \ \ \ I realize the font is a little smaller than anticipated for the calendar, so by all means save it for future reference if you plan on attending any events if you're local to me! I will also be sharing probably two newsletter a week for Pride month: Trans Joy Thursday, the given newsletter at this point, and probably one on Sundays geared towards Pride related things: favorite books, maybe a quick history lesson, what I'm reading for Pride, etc. I'm still fleshing out the details (nothing like waiting until last minute.) So, stay tuned for fun.\ \ Plus, a Pride Month Giveaway for our June 16th inaugural Behind The Book author chat begins TODAY! Details are as follows:\ \ \ \ You can message me screenshots of all applicable entries to my IG here throughout the month as you participate, and I will keep a running wheel of names all month long. Good luck!\ \ Also, for the end of Quarter 2, we are still reading Merle Miller's On Being Different: What It Means To Be A Homosexual. It's a super short book, sitting at only 74 pages in length, so this is your sign to hop on in the discussion on Discord to join in. It isn't too late.\ \ Speaking of book club picks... Our Quarter 3 (Jul-Aug-Sep) Not A Phase Books pick is:\ \ \ \ It is Hijab Butch Blues: A Memoir by Lamya H! I am currently in the works to secure a Behind The Book chat with the author! So, stay tuned for more information regarding that. (Cue internal excitement: here.)\ \ While I'm just listing off Quarterly book club picks. Here's Quarter 4 (Oct-Nov-Dec):\ \ \ \ The ever-so-amazing book by Sonido Reyes' To Our Untamed Core (which releases September 22nd.) You can get a head start and pre-order this beautiful book here from my Bookshop Affiliate page. Also, they have confirmed a Behind The Book chat with me for November (we're still nailing down the specifics), and we will also be hosting a giveaway with a copy of the book and some swag! Bazinga!\ \ ALSO, as you're reading this, I want to formally announce to those of you that may be local, I am expanding my book at Soul Purpose in the mall here in Green Bay TODAY... Meaning I will now be selling some merchandise IN STORE, in addition to signed copies of my book. You'll be able to find the limited edition sprayed edged copies of Coming Home, bookmarks, stickers, spiral bound notebooks that match the sprayed edged books, and limited edition Pride sticker sheets. (If you're reading this in the morning, this is where I'm at. lol) Merchandise will be changed out seasonally, but you know I had to do it big for Pride month! If you're local, go shop Soul Purpose (In Bay Park Square Mall beside Kohl's.)\ \ One last, more serious, thing before I leave you all:\ \ "Pride" was started by Black and brown trans women as a riot from police brutality. Yes, several things happened before Stonewall, but for some reason, that brick thrown, escalated to a 3-day chain of events that spiraled into what we know as Pride today. Strip away the commercializism, and we have fundamental rights that were started by trans women of color, being stripped away by those [poorly] "running" the government today. We are losing trans people at disproportionate rates, add in intersectionality, and it's staggering. We don't need " Love is Love" we need " Trans Lives Are Important." We don't need an ally - we need you to yell, to vote, to speak up, to stop being innocent bystanders and do something. We need an accomplice.\ \ So, remember, when you go to Pride events this month, remember it wasn't brought to you by Absolut Vodka or whatever other corporation slaps a rainbow on something to sell or giveaway for clout - it's Black and brown folx who created it, and it's us, honestly, who turned it commercial. Want to support the LGBTQIA+ community? Support our small businesses and content directly - you pay our bills, put food on our tables, help us raise our families, etc. We are queer 24/7, 365.\ \ I hope you all truly take time to learn why Pride is so important. Why it's in June. Who helped pave the way for us to be where we are now. It's important, now more than ever. I will leave you with probably one of the most known quotes from Martha P(ay It No Mind) Johnson:\ \ \ \ With absolutely all of my trans joy,\ \ Sawyer Cole\ \ Join for free or login

Happy Pride Month!

4 books

2-Spirit Bookshelf\ \ (@Indigenousbookshelf)\ \ • Nov 20 2025

Join for free

Holding space on this TDoR with love, gentleness, and stillness.\ \ Sending strength and tenderness to those mourning, to those carrying weight.\ \ You are held and loved beyond measure.\ \ You matter\ \ You belong\ \ Your survival is revolution. \ \ Those in your orbit are changed by your existence. May we meet that gift with protection, with solidarity, with care that breaks systems open. Our liberation is tied to one another, our paths woven together. I will always show up for those who are fighting to stay whole.\ \ Today, I am out on the land with my furry pal, connecting with the old growth trees while honouring our grief, our memories, our love in action 🫂🫀\ \ Join for free or login

Trans Day of Remembrance 🍓🫐🏳️‍⚧️

20 books

2-Spirit Bookshelf\ \ (@Indigenousbookshelf)\ \ • Sep 20 2025

Join for free

Forever fav badass books

45 books I will never get over🤪 guys, I REALLY TRIED to make this list only 10 books and I struggled for days shaving it down to 45 🙃 Do y’all reread your fav books??? (If so, do you ever change your mind about them?)

It’s been ages since I read something of these so I’m a lil unsure about posting them but I just still think about how much they impacted me

Also, if you didn’t see, I’m on bindery and bookshop!!! Please check it out! Link in bio 2spiritbookshelf@bindery.com

25 books

2-Spirit Bookshelf\ \ (@Indigenousbookshelf)\ \ • Aug 1 2025

Join for free

Books to hold your hand through tough times 🐝🐜\ \ What books offers you a warm hug?

Books to hold your hand through tough times 🐝🐜

What books offers you a warm hug?

10 books

Fairly Queer Books\ \ Fareeha\ \ • Mar 6 2025

Join for free

Queer Book Recs & Reflections: Ramadan Edition